Best Strategies for Parenting a Child with Autism – According to a Behavioral Interventionist

When it comes to parenting a child with autism, there are a lot of factors that can make your parenting experience extra stressful. Many children with autism attend multiple therapies each week that require a lot of commuting and time. This can interfere with a parent’s ability to work or engage in self-care activities, which can lead to extra stress on parents and the family (1).

Children with autism are more likely to struggle with everyday tasks than their peers or siblings. Things like transitioning to and from activities and environments, potty training, safety awareness, coping with emotions, and completing daily tasks independently may be extra hard for them.  

I am a social psychology PhD and have been providing behavioral intervention to children with autism and other special needs for over 11 years. While I’m not a parent myself, I have 16 years of experience working with children with autism and understand the ups and downs of the journey. Throughout this time, I have worked with a variety of children whose needs and family dynamics vary greatly. 

Keep in mind that what works for one family or child may not work for another, but trial and error are both important and expected for families with children on the spectrum. 

There are some simple strategies you can implement in your everyday lives to make each day go a bit more smoothly. Consistently incorporating the following three strategies into your child’s life may improve behaviors over time and provide some stress relief for you and your family. 

Incorporate Timers and Verbal Reminders

If your child attends therapy and you have attended with them, you have probably seen their speech or occupational therapist use timers and verbal reminders to help them with transitions. Regularly using these tools is helpful for any child, but can be a lifesaver for children on the spectrum (2). 

It’s common for children with autism to struggle with time perception, so they may have a hard time understanding the passing of time. This means that just telling your child, “You have five more minutes on the iPad and then all done,” may not suffice for them. Instead, you should pair this verbal warning with a visual timer of some sort. 

Whatever timer or countdown device you choose should be easy to take anywhere and use consistently. There are a variety of apps that can be used, but for many kids, the timer on a cell phone will work fine. 

Some children even do well with hand signals, such as getting their attention and having them watch you put a finger down after each minute that passes. You can also use handheld visual timers that you can easily find online. 

Once you start using a timer, it is important to remain consistent with its use. Over time, your child will likely develop better time perception, and you should see a decrease in negative behaviors associated with transitions because the use of the timer paired with verbal cues will help your child to prepare for the transition, so it is less anxiety-inducing.

Utilize Visual Supports

There are a plethora of uses for visual supports for children with autism. Using these as a tool can help break down tasks, prepare them for transitions, and understand how to behave appropriately in different scenarios. You can find many visual support tools online and can also make your own if your child needs more customized visual support (2).  

If you’re hoping to improve your child’s independence with daily living skills such as toileting, bathing, brushing teeth, or cleaning up after meals, then visual supports should definitely be implemented. 

For example, if your child is working on potty training, they may have a visual support tool that shows a picture of each step that needs to be completed during the toileting process. 

The first picture may show a figure pulling down pants, followed by sitting on the potty, and then there may be pictures of toilet paper and flushing. Using a tool like this can help your child work their way through a routine with fewer verbal prompts and more independence, which can be rewarding for both the parent and child. 

Visual supports can also be used to lay out their morning routine, available food items and activities, or what proper behavior during story time or eating out at a restaurant looks like. You should start by incorporating just one visual support system and slowly add additional ones as your child becomes more comfortable with them. 

Always Have Reinforcers Available 

Most children benefit from reinforcement as simple as high-fives and verbal praise when they do something right. For children with autism, extra reinforcement may be needed to encourage desired behaviors and improve the likelihood of seeing those behaviors in the future. 

It’s important to tune into your child’s personal preferences when choosing reinforcers. Your child may be highly motivated by goldfish crackers, and someone else’s may prefer something like having 1 minute to play with a car or sticker charts.

Reinforcers are only effective if they’re something the child truly wants, and they should be something that can be taken and applied anywhere, since consistency is crucial. You should allow your child access to the reinforcer within seconds of completing the desired behavior to improve the likelihood of seeing this behavior again. 

The need to reinforce small behaviors may seem excessive, but taking the time and effort to stay consistent with reinforcing them can become the key to your child’s success.

Takeaways

Parenting a child with autism requires extra work in many ways. The more willing you are to do the work and take extra care to implement things like timers, visual supports, and positive reinforcements, the more likely you are to help your child succeed. 

I encourage you to reach out via comment or email with any questions you may have. I’m happy to help!

Sources

1. Parenting stress and autism: The role of age, autism severity, quality of life and problem behaviour of children and adolescents with autism. (2014, Autism)
2. Using handheld applications to improve the transitions of students with autism spectrum disorders. (2014, In Innovative technologies to benefit children on the autism spectrum)