Effective Communication Tips for Stronger Relationships

If you’ve ever been in a long-term relationship… or heck, even if you never made it to that point, you probably know how important communication is. Some people may say it’s overrated while others understand exactly how underrated it tends to be.

Following a few tips to improve communication with your partner is the key to a successful relationship. Open doors of communication allow you to grow as an individual and within your relationship. 

People want to feel seen and heard and when you don’t feel seen or heard it can start a long list of problems that may be detrimental to your relationship. You may feel like you are a good communicator but that your partner just doesn’t listen but the truth is that being a good communicator doesn’t just mean that you are good at saying what you feel. 

You must be able to verbalize your wants and needs in a way that allows your partner to receive them and unfortunately how someone receives information can vary from one person to the next which makes adaptability important. It’s important to be able to adapt your communication style from one relationship to the next and to remain open to feedback from your partner. 

While learning how to effectively communicate within your relationship may be challenging, it truly is the key to strengthening the bond between partnerships and developing a strong and healthy relationship that can overcome even the most challenging obstacles. 

Understanding Communication in Relationships

Using proper communication techniques in a relationship is crucial for not only maintaining what you have but also for growing it. Couples who are unable to effectively communicate their wants and needs to each other are more likely to have turbulent relationships. 

For communication to be effective and supportive you have to let your partner know that you are experiencing distress, then your partner should respond with comforting messages, and finally, you should respond to their attempts of support and comfort.  

When your relationship consists of engaging and positive communication you are less likely to experience feelings of uncertainty and you’re less likely to feel dependent on your partner (in a good way).

On the other hand, when the communication in your relationship comes off as avoidant or negative then you are more likely to feel uncertain about your relationship and more likely to feel like you depend on your partner to an extent that is not healthy. 

When you’re able to work through tough times together by communicating appropriately your relationship can blossom. The level of intimacy and togetherness you feel within your relationship can improve.

We all know the saying, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” That is absolutely the case when you are able to use proper communication techniques to overcome trials and tribulations in your relationship. By overcoming relationship turbulence you grow the foundation for a resilient relationship and improve your chances of long-term success. 

What Does Good Communication Look Like?

Communication isn’t just telling your partner how you feel about them forgetting your anniversary. Communication is the way you let your partner know that you appreciate their efforts around the home and how you tell your partner you need them around more. 

Communicating means effectively informing your partner that you are struggling with work-life balance and attentively listening when they let you know that they need more intimacy. Speaking and listening are equally important when it comes to communication and attempts at truly understanding bring things full circle. 

With all that being said, let’s get into my top 5 tips for improving communication in your relationship. 

Tips to Improve Communication in Your Relationship

Tip 1: Practice Active Listening

Active listening is pretty much exactly what it sounds like, actively participating in a conversation by concentrating on what’s being said, attempting to understand what’s being said, and responding accordingly.

More than that, active listening means that you make an effort to remember what has been said so you can make improvements and apply and consider it in future situations. The other person involved should feel that what they are saying is valued.

Steps to implement active listening in daily conversations:

• Show that you are paying attention by maintaining eye contact and not being on your phone. 
• Affirm what is being said by saying things like: “I see,” “Ok, that makes sense,” and “Uh-huh.”
• Let the other person know they’re being understood by providing feedback and summarizing what you’ve heard back to them. You can say something like, “Okay, so what I am hearing is that you are feeling _____.”
• Make sure you aren’t showing judgment. This means letting the other person get all of their thoughts out without interrupting, criticizing, or starting an argument. 
• Engage by providing appropriate responses. You can ask questions to clarify what has been said as well as demonstrate empathy and provide thoughtful responses. 

Tip 2: Show Empathy

It can be challenging to empathize with your partner, especially in situations where you may not quite understand where they are coming from. The important thing is to always attempt to understand and let them know that you are aware of their feelings and support them.

In situations where you don’t fully comprehend where your partner is coming from you can try saying something like “I see that you’re really upset and I’m sorry that you’re having such a hard time right now.” You do not have to agree with why your partner is upset but what you can do is acknowledge their feelings and let them know you are there for them. 

A good partner attempts to recognize and care about their partner’s feelings and supports them, even when they don’t agree or understand where their partner is coming from. This is the perfect time to try putting yourself in the other person’s shoes. Doing this helps to foster trust and reduce conflict which can lead to a stronger relationship.

Often when your partner is upset, at the very least they want someone to validate their emotions. Avoiding communication pitfalls in relationships is crucial for long-term success and empathizing is a great step towards doing that. 

Tip 3: Be Honest but Tactful

This is a tough one. No one wants to be lied to but there is a right and a wrong way to deliver the truth, especially when it may be hurtful to the one receiving it. There are times when it may be best to keep the truth to yourself.

For example, if you find it annoying when your partner sings while they clean or find them unattractive when they dress a certain way this is a time when you may not need to be totally honest. If the truth doesn’t help or hurt your relationship then it may be better left unsaid. 

Now let’s talk about times when you need to be honest but careful with your delivery. If your partner has been worried about a situation and continues to drill you for information about it (information that you do not have) this can cause a lot of stress on you.

Imagine you are in the military and awaiting orders to a new base, this is likely stressful for you and your partner both. Times like this can increase tension in a relationship and unnecessary arguments may occur. 

In this situation, you may be worried about hurting your partner’s feelings or making them feel like you don’t want to tell them information. However, in this case, it’s important to set boundaries and be clear about the stress they are putting on you so honesty is important. 

Instead of telling your partner, “You’re being annoying with all of your questions and I’m done talking to you,” try saying something like “I understand that not knowing where we’re moving is making you anxious but I truly don’t have the information and when you keep asking it’s making me stressed and I’m having a hard time focusing on my job.”

As you can see, delivery is everything in this situation and can be the difference between your partner feeling like their feelings aren’t valid and your partner having their eyes opened to how their behavior and the way they communicate impacts you. This delivery makes future situations easier to work through and may reduce the stress for both partners. 

Takeaways

There are many ways to improve your relationship and these 3 tips for improving communication within it are just a start. Every relationship has different peaks and pits and pinpointing where you and your partner struggle will help you decide what you need to work on first. 

By practicing active listening, empathizing with your partner, and being honest (but in a tactful way) you will build a strong foundation for a long-term relationship. When you and your partner both feel understood it will increase the chances that you will both feel comfortable expressing your feelings and makes more room for growth and less opportunity for dispute. 

Consider what tools and tactics you and your partner use when communicating. What do you find has worked well and what can you improve? Also, you should consider your attachment style and your partner’s. Attachment styles can play a role in how people give and receive information and learning more about them can help improve how your relationship functions.