Athlete Identity: How to Accept Loss as an Athlete

Anyone who has been a serious athlete, been friends with a serious athlete, or anyone who has any sense of the sort of passion athletes feel about their sport probably has some idea about the emotions an athlete experiences when saying goodbye to their sport, whether due to injury or their time within their sports career just coming to an end.

Any athlete who participates at a serious level (not necessarily determined by title or a dollar amount but rather dedication and passion) puts a huge amount of time, focus, and energy into their sport.

Typically, the time, focus, and energy they invest easily outweighs what they put into their academics, jobs, and likely even social lives. Sports tend to become a part of who an athlete is, and their sport is not just what they do.

While this may seem cliché to say or appear to be a dramatic statement, the truth is that almost every aspect of an athlete’s life somehow reflects their role as an athlete.

The Life of an Athlete

Think about it, when someone is truly invested in their sport their work schedule has to work with their training schedule and the amount of sleep that they get is well thought out to either be recovering from big efforts or preparing for big efforts. 

You may eat a certain way to fuel your body and this might impact your social behaviors (avoiding eating out with friends or attending BBQs and other events) so that you don’t overindulge in food or alcohol for fear of impacting their upcoming performances or energy levels.

People who focus a lot on their sport or fitness often have to plan their days in a way that allows them to get enough fuel, rest, recovery, and training time while still needing to work and spend time with others. 

Even the amount of travel you do or don’t do and the money you do or don’t have can very well be impacted by your role as an athlete (i.e. spending money to travel to places to perform, and spending money on equipment or supplements, missing out on prize money or winning big).

As an athlete, you often have to balance your time and efforts amongst various sponsors which can include, but is not limited to, the amount of time they spend on social media and the gear they wear during training.

It isn’t uncommon to hear friends and family on the outside say things like, “I understand but, (insert sport here) is not who are you.” Hearing that as an athlete sort of leaves you with a bit of an empty feeling because if you are anything like me, you find yourself arguing the matter in your head and then wondering if you forgot to be someone else.

Research shows that it is unlikely that another activity can guarantee an athlete the same type of social and personal esteem that their sport provides.

Learning From the Experience

So, as an athlete as someone who may not have the same passion for a sport, it may not be who we are completely, but many of the pieces that come together to make us who we are have been formed through our sport. It is what makes us feel whole and helps us to find our happy place.

When you succeed in your sport this leads to clarity and self-relevance for them so without the ability to succeed (i.e., no races) clarity and self-relevance may be a bit absent which might lead an athlete to feel like they are living in a bit of a fog. 

The more an identity revolves around their sport the more lost they will feel without it (to state the obvious).

Research tells us that when an athlete loses their sport, they might struggle to adjust at first and it is likely they will experience feelings of other social and cultural limbo due to a lack of clear personal identity.

If you are an athlete, or simply missing out on being able to do the thing that makes your soul sing, give yourself a break because it’s okay to feel sad and lost. Science says so. 

If you can’t compete right now or attend your favorite fitness event with the people that you typically do for one reason or another you may have to take time to reframe your goals.

Feel the feels. Hang out in the feels. But as an athlete, you know you must persevere, and we all know athletes are no good at just sitting around anyway.